I learned from Mrs P today that our local newsagent was robbed on Thursday and by all accounts it was both frightening and funny in equal measure. Apparently this bloke walked into the shop not wearing a mask, but brandishing a very large knife. He nipped behind the counter, pushing the assistant out of the way and began fumbling with the till.
What he hadn’t spotted was another assistant who was crouching down filling the cigarette racks. She leapt up, of course, and he hit her over the head with the handle of the knife.
At this point the shoppers stepped in and began pelting the thief with anything to hand, namely packs of chewing gum, Cadbury’s Cream Eggs, paperback books, videos etc. The man made a grab inside the till and then ran for it.
When they came to cash-up, they reckoned he had got away with £1.67, that is until they found a couple of quid on the floor under the counter. I like to think the latter had belonged to the thief and that he was 33p down on the heist.
Royal wedding update: Mrs P assures that the only reason Miss P wanted me to record it is so she could look at the outfits that the newest Mrs Windsor and her mates are wearing, so that’s okay. I’m quite egalitarian when it comes to big hats and posh frocks.