Destroy Civilisation, Save Earth

There’s a bit of a fad at the moment to call political initiatives by a four words split into two phrase, like End Waiting, Change Lives and Our NHS, Our Future.

Okay, so I’m showing my own NHS bias, but I’m sure there must be others. Perhaps End Immigration, Save Jobs for the BNP/UKIP/Tories. (Sorry, scratch the last lot – it’s an invalid format.) Or Your Leader, You’re Joking for the Lib Dems.

Anyway, I had my own stab at it in the above title. Given that we’re constantly told that the planet is dying and it’s all our fault, how reassuring it was to hear today that the Russians have invented a bomb that could save us from ourselves. Step up the Father of all Bombs. A vacuum jobbie that has all the power of a nuke without the inconvenient fallout.

Apparently it uses nanotechnology to create a sonic blast to flatten buildings and enough heat to evaporate anything living in the vicinity. In a stroke it solves all our problems. Plenty of brownfield sites on which to build new houses for all the people who… Oh, who now don’t exist, but no pain, no gain.

The clincher though is that this as yet unnamed bomb is ‘environmentally friendly’, the exact words of General Ruskin. The bark-snoggers must be nodding their heads and thinking, “They’ve got a point, they’ve got a point. Wage war, get rid of the vermin causing global warming and save the planet.”

That would be us then. And them.

I couldn’t get my last policy initiative to four words, but I got two phrases: Good Luck Polar Bears, You’re On Your Own.

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

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