Could Do Better

One of the exams we never took too seriously at school was general studies. No-one really saw the point of it and it was treated frivolously, the idea being to come up with the funniest wrong answers you could think of.

For that reason, I take compilations of ‘the things children say’ with a pinch of salt, but they can still be amusing.

I was reading excerpts from Could Do Better by Norman McGreevy, described as a ‘roaringly funny book’ by the Daily Mail, although the paper is not known for its sense of humour, so I’m not sure how much of a recommendation that is. However, there were a few that caught my eye and I hope they are true:

A monologue is a conversation between two people, such as a man and wife.

If David had one fault it was a slight tendency to adultery.

Who was sorry when the Prodigal Son returned? The fatted calf.

In Medevil times most of the people were alliterate.

Henry the Eighth had an abbess on his knee which made walking difficult.

Hitler transformed Germany into a land of blond-eyed, blue-haired supper-humans.

A skeleton is a man with his inside out and his outside off.

Algabraical symboles are those used when you do not know what you are talking about.

I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

Could Do Better is available from Amazon for £4.91.

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

2 comments… Add yours
  • Yorkshire Pudding 7th September 2010

    “bu Norman McGreevy, described as a ‘roaringly funny book’ by the Daily Mail, although the paper is not known for its sense of humour, so I not sure how” Two obvious grammatical/typographical errors here. Don’t they have schools in Lancashire? See me in my study after prep laddie!

    Reply
  • Polly 7th September 2010

    I don’t know. Once a teacher, always a teacher. Definitely typo, not grammatical, errors now corrected.

    Reply

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