You don’t believe me? Look at the facts. Much as Bin Laden hates the west and all it stands for, he was a great admirer of the British royal family as a model for his vision of world rule.
Anachronistic, undemocratic, autocratic and yet with the public persona of an ‘ordinary’ family, the royals were everything that his theocracy aspired to. And he was a sucker for a royal wedding and that was to be his downfall.
The special forces knew that the Bin Laden household would be the only one in Pakistan tuned to the 24/7 royal wedding news coverage making it a simple task to identify their target.
They also knew they would have time to organise their special forces because Osama was glued to his tv watching the re-runs of the day, the young royals partying afterwards and William and Kate setting out on life together” like any other young couple” in dad’s Aston Martin as a nation sighed a collective “Aw”.
It was while Bin Laden was pouring over the Sunday papers and their Royal Wedding souvenir pull-out sections that the Americans struck and their target’s last defiant words were that he was prepared for death “now that I have seen Kate’s wedding dress.”
As conspiracy theories go, this is probably as credible as any of the others that are bound to follow the events of this weekend. Was it really Bin Laden? How could he have lived unknown next to an army base? Why was he buried at sea?
Questions already being asked in some quarters. We can only wait to see how silly the conspiracy theories will become.