It’s an open and shut case Mr Lansley

Noel CowardAt the moment this post goes public, we should be rumbling down the tarmac at MIA on our way to Philadelphia, but I couldn’t let a day slip by without saying anything, so I’m writing on a topic dear to my heart from the day before yesterday.

I suppose you were expecting a rant against Andrew Lansley’s latest assault on smokers by stripping branding from cigarette packets. But you’d be wrong. I think it is a brilliant idea that could return this country to its glory days.

Britain started going downhill when we stopped stiffening our upper lips with a cigarette taken with a flourish from a silver case. This was always a useful stalling tactic when facing down Johnny Foreigner, especially if he had the drop on you.

Banning branding on tobacco products can only mean a return of the dashing cigarette case and this would bring a much needed air of sophistication sadly lacking today, particularly among the young.

I remember my granddad had several cigarette cases, one of which saw him through two world wars and he emerged from both without a scratch. Admittedly he was too young to take part in the first and too old for the second, but I’m sure that case would have taken a bullet for him if it had to.

Cigarette cases are much more practical than your common or garden cardboard pack. They’re water resistant for a start, a boon for any forgetful smoker who leaves his pack out in the rain.

They’re also much slimmer than a lumpy packet of twenty, slipping neatly into an inside pocket without ruining the cut of your suit.

The big drawback of the cigarette case in the past was its weight, but with all the modern materials available today, they could be made to be just as tough and yet no heavier than a cardboard pack.

So you can see how trendy they will become. (Do young people still say ‘trendy’?) I’ve already registered the brand names iPack and iSmoke and have got the boffins looking at developing one with a multi-touch display and lighter app.

I’m sure any cigarette manufacturer worth their salt will interested in these handy, branded cases ahead of the inevitable legislation and I will use my trip to the US to visit Silicon Valley to investigate other possible developments.

Watch this space!

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5 comments… add one

  • Jennyta 16th April 2012, 1:13 pm

    Sounds like an excellent outcome, SP. I’ll have to buy one for Keith for his birthday.
    Enjoy your trip to USA. :)

    Reply
  • rhymeswithplague 16th April 2012, 1:48 pm

    I say, old chap, is that dear Noel Cad I see there in the upper left? Positively brilliant to illustrate your post with his puss, if I do say so myself, and I just did, actually.

    Over here, MIA means Miami, so be sure you return to your home through the international gates or the boobs-in-charge will definitely misplace your luggage.

    By the by, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, including your money.

    I shall eat an English muffin in your honor today.

    My best to the missus.

    Reply
  • Tropical Pudding 16th April 2012, 9:09 pm

    Enjoy your trip to America and if you see a certain R.Brague from Georgia gambling away his pension in the Bellagio, say hi to him from me… And please watch out for the Mafia, Charles Manson and those prole-rodents who live in Las Vegas’s storm drains.

    Reply
  • Roger Green 17th April 2012, 2:52 am

    know that there are lot more places people cannot smoke in the US

    Reply
  • Mr Parrot 17th April 2012, 4:46 pm

    Thanks for thinking about us. We arrived safely and more about the trip to follow soon.

    Reply

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