The Shock of the New

Display Your Watches

Display Your Watches

It’s been over nine years since the Innovations catalogue bit the dust, but I still miss it and all the things it sold that I never knew I needed.

Admittedly, I don’t recall ever buying anything, but it was nice to know it was there in case I ever felt in need of a handy portable paper shredder, some snore-stoppers, one-size-fits-all galoshes or a fun fur-lined vibrating golf club cover.

You can imagine my delight then that while rifling through the seat pocket on our US Airways flight to Las Vegas that I came across the transatlantic version in the shape of Sky Mall.

Nano Wand

Nano Wand

What wonders it has to offer, like the Watch Storage Case ($89.95)  above to ‘showcase and protect your watches with pride’ which I would do except that my collection consists of one watch and while it does the job it was intended for, it’s more Timex than Rolex.

And how have I managed without a Nano UV Wand that ‘safely kills 99.9% of targeted bacteria — E.Coli, Salmonella, and the H1N1 virus in 10 seconds.’ (I always worry about those surviving 0.01% germs – they must be tough little blighters.)

Litter Box

24/7 Self-cleaning Litter Box

Or how about the ’24/7 self-cleaning litter box – no more scooping’ which boasts a ‘patented sifting process that’s automatically activated just minutes after the cat leaves the box, transferring waste into a hidden drawer, then refilling with the remaining clean litter.’

Very handy that, especially if you have a cat which we don’t and want to leave it entirely unattended for days on end. It may even survive the experience, assuming it doesn’t get caught short and tries re-entering the box during its cleaning cycle.

Porch Potty

Porch Potty

Just to show that Sky Mall isn’t canine-ist when it comes to latrine gadgets, your dog can have a yard of its own with the Porch Potty, a snip at just $279.99.

It gives your dog a clean grass area indoors or out (except the grass is synthetic) and a scented, fire hydrant to pee on.

The Premium Porch Potty also includes ‘an automated rinse and drain system that utilizes embedded sprinklers and an optional water timer.’ Something to grace even the smallest apartment I’m sure you’ll agree.

iGrow Hair Rejuvenation Laser

iGrow Hair Rejuvenation

For the follically challenged the catalogue has an assortment of space helmet gizmos to make baldness and thinning hair a thing of the past.

The iGrow Laser Hair Rejuvenation Treatment is the world’s most advanced HANDS-FREE hair rejuvenation system which utilizes a patented combination of Lasers and high output LEDs that offers thicker, fuller hair for both men and women.’

Note the emphasis on hands-free. No-one wants hairy palms.

Of course, such amazing technology does not come cheap,  but can you put a price on keeping your crowning glory intact? Well yes you can – it’s $695.00 plus delivery.

SkyRest Travel Pillow

SkyRest Travel Pillow

All this and more can be found at www.SkyMall.com, like the stainless steel wallet; the tangle-free, rotating flag pole holder; the portable, inflatable movie screen; and my own personal favourite – the Skyrest®.

Not something I needed with my Sky Mall catalogue to keep me awake, but you must agree that ‘the miraculous, wedge-shaped travel pillow makes even the most uncomfortable spots downright pleasant.’

China’s industrial star might be rising, but they have a long way to go to beat American know-whats.

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

8 comments… Add yours
  • Jennyta 25th May 2012

    I remember the Innovations catalogue but didn’t realise it had bitten the dust. The sad thing is that there will be people who will buy those items for their beloved pets! 😉

    Reply
  • Mr Parrot 25th May 2012

    I knew it had gone, but I hadn’t realised just how long ago!

    Reply
  • Eco Pudding 25th May 2012

    We laugh at all that useless crap but it annoys me that profit hungry morons can waste the planet’s resources in such a carefree way. By the way, that’s a cool shirt you’re wearing in the Skyrest demo picture!

    Reply
  • Trevor Rowley 25th May 2012

    Two more blasts from the past that you might recall, Ronco and K-Tel; both either American or Canadian in origin. I don’t recall ever buying anything from Ronco, but they were a good joke in the office when you wanted to refer to semi-junk items to be used for pointless activities (all that nasal hair removal and shoe straighteners etc). However, I think I must have acquired one or two K-Tel items. Didn’t they do that series “Now That’s What I Call Music” on vinyl? I think we bought volumes three, four and five (when T-Rex and Elton were on the playlist). At the last count I think they were up to something like “Now That’s What I Call Music – Volume 79”.

    Reply
  • Mr Parrot 25th May 2012

    YP: I’m afraid it’s yet another example of man’s ingeninuity to man.

    Trevor: I remember both Ronco and K-Tel, mainly from the tv ads. The former produced some handy sewing gizmo as I recall that allowed you to sew on shirt buttons without taking it off.

    Also the Now That’s What I Call Music series. Some teenager recently decided they would trawl the second-hand shops to complete the entire collection until he learned just how many albums there were!

    Reply
  • Roger Green 25th May 2012

    Off topic, but I now need a nap, seeing that sleeping guy…

    Reply
  • Trevor Rowley 26th May 2012

    My figure of 79 for the number of volumes of “Now…” was something of a guesstimate. However, I wasn’t too far out as “Now…Volume 82” will be released in the UK in July, this year. I can’t wait.

    Reply
  • Mr Parrot 26th May 2012

    Reserve your copy now at Amazon!

    Reply

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