Shouldn’t Have Gone to Specsavers

Eye TestIsn’t it sickening how one little thing can wreck your day. Yesterday it was getting a parking ticket for going twenty minutes over the hour I’d paid for.

The parking attendant was keying my car details into his handheld money-making machine just as I got there and steadfastly refused to let me off with a warning.

But it wasn’t really him I was cross with. I was grinding my teeth and wondering how on earth it can take an hour and twenty minutes to have an eye test.

I’m not very good at taking up the reminders to have my eyes re-tested. As long as I can see well enough to focus my camera and avoid crashing the car, then I really don’t see the point.

But it had been four years since I was tested, but my real reason for making the appointment was that the glasses I’ve worn since then have developed an irritating mark on the bottom of the right eye lens and I decided I needed a new pair.

I suppose the time it took was partly my fault for arriving ten minutes early so I could take a look at the frames they had to offer, but I was then whisked upstairs to check in for my test.

Then it was the usual pre-test rigmarole of having photos taken of the back of my eyeballs and shots of air blasted at them.

When I finally got to see the optician (or is it optometrist?) there was a repeat of previous interrogations – was there any glaucoma in my families medical history? (The answers were already on my file.)

Then the test itself, a review of the eyeball snapshots and the upshot was that my eyesight has got a little worse.

It was at this point that time began to slip away. Clutching my new prescription, I went back downstairs to choose some frames. That was when the clock started ticking because I’d made the mistake of thinking that all I wanted was a pair of glasses. Hah!

Did I want the buy one pair, get another free offer? Would the other pair be sunglasses, for reading or driving, or perhaps for the computer?

And for my main pair of varifocals, did I want them just ultraclear, anti-reflection and scratch-resistant? Or extra thin, super thin or ultimate thin and light?

Did I want reactions lenses for 100% UV protection, or Polaroid to eliminate 99.9% of horizontal glare? Or perhaps Drivewear that combines the two to give clearer vision in both bright and overcast conditions?

Or how about UltrDriveDay that blocks UV light and up to 95% of blue light to make colours appear sharper?

CyclopsAt that rate, I could see me having to order half a dozen pairs to swap around depending on what I was doing and where I was doing it so I ended up ordering none while I went away to consider all the options.

But the one option I would have liked would be a pair of specs like the ones Cyclops wears in X-Men, the sort which I could twiddle a knob on the side and incinerate parking attendants and spectacle salesmen.

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

10 comments… Add yours
  • Jennyta 31st May 2012

    Excellent idea, SP. I would certainly buy a pair of them! Keith and I have bought our last two lots of glasses on the internet. Not very High St friendly, I know, but the prices seem to have escalated here and you still have to wait about a fortnight to get them.

    Reply
  • Mr Parrot 31st May 2012

    Having got my prescription, I too had a look at buying glasses online, but they asked for my ‘pupillary distance’ which I couldn’t answer!

    Reply
  • Jennyta 31st May 2012

    You can ask your regular optician to write it on your prescription or you can measure it yourself (get Mrs SP to do it). See http://www.directsight.co.uk/help#a13 for more information.

    Reply
  • Mr Parrot 31st May 2012

    Thanks Jenny. I’ve had a look round the Direct Sight site. They have a far bigger range of frames than you find on the High Street. Being vain though, I need to try them on!

    Reply
  • Roger Green 31st May 2012

    Taking the bus and bike DOES have its advantages! (And, to be sure, disadvantages. Such as theft of bike. And waiting for bus…)

    Reply
  • Jay from The Depp Effect 31st May 2012

    Hahahahahahaha!!! I feel for you. I went into town to deliver some goods for a handcraft shop and I said (as I walked in the door) ‘this isn’t going to take longer than half an hour, is it?’ – that being how long I had on the ticket. As luck would have it, I arrived back to my car one minute over, and considered myself extremely lucky not to find a traffic warden in the act of writing me a ticket, because that particular row of spots is infamous for the vigilance with which it is patrolled. They must give them huge bonuses or something.

    I know what you mean about glasses, too. However, I go regularly (having a few problems in my eyes) and usually get the same old options: varifocals with all the bells and whistles. Ultra thin, anti-glare, reactive lenses, graduated lenses, anything they can throw at them to make my sight work a tad better without crushing my nose.

    Reply
  • Vigilante Pudding 31st May 2012

    If you can remember what that particular member of the Parking Gestapo looked like I shall come over the Pennines to “collect” him for you. I have discovered that they whimper like badgers in gin traps when you leave them shivering in their underpants on the Snake Pass summit – where it is always wintertime.

    Reply
  • Vigilante Pudding 31st May 2012

    …Oh, I mean I would if I were still in England.

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  • Mr Parrot 31st May 2012

    Jay: The annoying bit is that the car park used to be free on the upper levels and was always well used. Since they introduced pay and display it’s poorly used and they have o employ attendants to enforce the time limits. And I can only think they need to collar a target number of miscreants like me to pay their wages. Goodness knows what it’s doing to local businesses.

    Reply
  • Mr Parrot 31st May 2012

    YP: Of course I can’t expect you to make a special trip for a one-off ‘contract’ but I assumed that you’d be sub-contracting to Sticky Toffee.

    Reply

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