Beach Cricket

Beach CricketWhen you watch Olympic events like handball and beach volleyball you can see how they must have developed in an ad hoc way by people improvising rules for fun.

On that basis, I propose that Beach Cricket should be introduced as a new Olympic sport for 2016, at least as a demonstration event.

Of course the rules would need a bit of work to standardise them. For a start, we’d have to decide whether to play on soft sand, as in beach volleyball, or flat wet sand as if the tide has just gone out.

But it goes without saying that we use the child-size equipment that we’re used to, ie two foot high stumps and a short bat.

And it wouldn’t be beach cricket without the usual hazards – the sea on one size for the ball to be hit into, the occasional jellyfish to keep the fielders on their toes and the odd dog to run off with the ball.

The number of players would vary, depending on whether dad can be coaxed from under his newspaper and the deck chair where he is enjoying his postprandial snooze.

Rather than having time-outs, there would be compulsory breaks while mum rubs sun cream on shoulders and backs despite complaints that she’s also rubbing skin raw because of the sticking sand.

Scoring would continue until one side declares that it’s not fair and stomps off in a huff, taking their bat and ball with them.

Additional points would be awarded by the judges for bottom lip trembling and artistic sulking.

How’s that for inspiring a generation?

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

7 comments… Add yours
  • Arctic Fox 7th August 2012

    it’ll only work when “the batsman’s Holding, the bowler’s Willey!”

    Reply
  • Roger Green 7th August 2012

    Jellyfish would be mandatory, placed in strategic locations on, and just off, the playing area.

    Reply
  • Mr Parrot 7th August 2012

    Arctic Fox: ‘He just couldn’t get his leg over.’

    Roger: Ideally the jellyfish should be placed ten to twenty yards from the batsman so the ball can land on them to make it really awkward for the fielder.

    Reply
  • rhymeswithplague 7th August 2012

    To distinguish this from normal (non-beach) cricket, I propose that we dub this new sport Yemeni Cricket.

    Reply
  • Chrissy Brand 7th August 2012

    Wonderful idea- Can I try out for the women’s seniors team please ? 😉

    I got some practice in whilst in London last week ( to see some of the Olympics)- garden cricket, but will try out beach cricket en famille in Wales next week-only problem is there are no boundaries on the beach… and it takes an age to retrieve well hit tennis balls…

    Reply
  • Reader Wil 7th August 2012

    Wonderful how you describe the beach scene with mum rubbing sun cream on her blistered shoulder and dad reading his gossip rags! The yellyfish is great! I see it all before me. Thanks for your visit.

    Reply
  • Cro Magnon 7th August 2012

    I used to umpire cricket at a classic Sussex prep’ school (where I was teaching). If any child made a spirited appeal for LBW, I always lifted my finger and called it ‘out’. My I suggest that this method be incorporated into your beach cricket; it reduces the length of matches considerably!

    Reply

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