if it’s news to me, it must be news to you!
Who’s the daddy: Cliff Richard may have been cleared of historic sex abuse crimes, but seeing this photo from Summer Holiday, you have to ask whether Cristiano Ronaldo is his love child, don’t you think?
And speaking of the Euros: Hungary goalkeeper, Gabor Kiraly, became the oldest player to appear in the competition and what’s more, he did it wearing tracksuit bottoms, some of which are older than Marcus Rashford.
Two no trumps: Neighbours of Donald Trump’s golf course in Aberdeenshire are flying the Mexican flag in solidarity with the neighbours that the prospective president would keep out of America.
Brexit paranoia: Thursday’s Brexit victory was down to the determination of those unused to the democratic practice of using pencils to make their mark. They were told not to use the pencils provided at polling stations as they could be erased by the dastardly remainers of Downing Street. Dubbed ‘pencilgate’, causing merriment on Twitter, voters were told to take their own green ink pen or carve their cross in pencil to ensure it could still be seen. And some actually took the advice seriously.
At the bottom of the garden: University lecturer John Hyatt claims to have proof that fairies really do exist after snapping photos of them in the Rossendale Valley.
Batman dies: If Bruce Wayne really did try his battish gliding tricks, chances are he would have died first time out. But don’t give hope because there would be disabled superheroes to take his place.
Grasping the nettle: The appropriately named Phil Thorne won the annual World Nettle Eating Championship after eating 86ft of stinging nettles in an hour in the village of Marshwood in Dorset.
Unexpected item in boggy area: A 2,000-year-old, twenty-two-pound lump of bog butter is found in Ireland. And still not past its use by date, if you put your faith in the boffins.
Speaking in tongues: A Muslim woman dares to speak anything other than English to her son and is berated by a fellow passenger on a train. Except she was in Wales and speaking in Welsh. That’s those damned English immigrants for you.
Brief lives: Anton Yelchin who played Chekov in the latest Star Trek films; Ernie Stevenson who I saw as Noe Noe the clown as a child at Manchester Belle Vue circus; René Rossey, one of the last surviving French commandos to land on D-Day; Flight Lieutenant Patrick Dorehill, South African low-level bomber hero of World War Two; circus acrobat Pete Cristiani; old school crime reporter, Jimmy Nicholson; Harry Rabinowitz who arranged the first theme tune for Top of the Pops.
And, of course, Britain’s future as part of a united Europe.