if it’s news to me, it must be news to you!
Southpaw of the week: Jeremy Corbyn leads with his left as part of his campaign to cling on to the Labour leadership. Unfortunately, he overlooked the brand name on his gloves which certainly blows his pc credentials.
If that wasn’t enough, he also failed the Mumsnet biscuit test, branding himself a miserable git for saying he doesn’t touch them because he’s ‘totally anti-sugar on health grounds’ before admitting that he isn’t averse to the odd bit of shortbread.
Facts of the season: No film title containing the word ‘autumn’ has ever won an Oscar – all the other seasons have. And the word ‘autumn’ is believed to have come from the Etruscan word ‘autu’ meaning change of season. See more autumnal facts.
Glamour puss: A New Zealand taxidermist has upset cat lovers by putting up for auction a handbag made from a dead feline. I would concede the point had the cat still been alive.
Meanwhile, there are nine cat cafés in the UK which must be dangerous places since the Centers for Disease Control in the US found that 500 people were admitted to hospital there every year with cat scratch disease (CSD).
Bird brains: A study suggests that pigeons can not only be taught to read, but that they can also distinguish between real words and non-words. The research is to identify the part of the brain that make humans literate. Elsewhere, horses are taught to speak using sign language.
Alternate history of the week: There was no racism in America until Obama was elected claims Donald Trump’s campaign manager in Ohio.
Nasa ruins lives: People were left no longer knowing who they were anymore when a rumour spread last week that Nasa had changed the dates of the star signs, including adding the 13th sign of Ophiuchus.
Great escape: Whenever anyone gets abducted on tv or on film these days, the lazy bad guys use zip ties to bind them instead of good old-fashioned rope. The thing is, escaping from zip ties is child’s play.
Capitalist plot: President for life, Kim Jong-un, laughs off the lies of western propaganda that the citizen’s of the Democratic People’s Republic are denied access to the world wide web when in fact they are free to visit any one of almost thirty websites.
I’m reliably informed that Shooting Parrots is definitely on the list.
Age old down under: A DNA study reveals that the indigenous Australians are the oldest civilisation on earth. Which reminds me that the name ‘Kylie’ is from the aboriginal word for ‘boomerang’.
Brief lives: Howard Neal of Texas who has one of the obituaries of the year; Charmian Carr who played Liesl von Trapp in The Sound of Music; actor and transgender campaigner Alexis Arquette; Jack the Ripper expert Richard Whittington-Egan; Father Gabriele Amorth, Catholic priest and president of the International Association of Exorcists; Ali Javan, inventor of the gas laser; Curtis Hanson, director of LA Confidential and; Joseph Hone, spy novelist.