if it’s news to me, it must be news to you!
Flotsam and eggsam: Last week I reported the death of Kinder Egg supremo William Salice. News that thousands of the egg-based confectionery have washed up on a German beach couldn’t be a coincidence surely.
It’s pants: Hundreds of people went to work sans-culottes this week to celebrate the worldwide No Trousers on the Tube Day.
We’re saved! Also as a follow-up to last week’s report that the world will end in November when we collide with Planet X, you’ll be pleased to know that the White House has released its National Near-Earth Object Preparedness Strategy. Given that a towerblock-sized meteor slipped quietly by us this week, actually spotting these objects would be a good start.
Of course, the world was meant to end on Friday but if you’re reading this then it probably didn’t.
The future is green: Jemima Packington is predicting troubling times for the Royal Family and that the USA will be seen as a pariah under the presidency of Donald Trump. Known as the Asparamancer, she makes her predictions through the mystical powers of asparagus.
Cock-a-Loopy: Following last week’s manure cockerel, a giant cock with the face of Donald Trump (below) has been built in China to welcome in the Year of the Rooster.
Stat of the week: The top eight officials in Barack Obama’s administration had a collective total of 117 years of government experience. Donald Trump’s team has 55. Conversely, Obama’s team had five years of business experience between them. Trump’s has 83.
Suck it up: The trendiest trend in the trendy workplace is something called ‘radial candor’ which involves people telling you exactly what they think of you with the expectation that you will take their criticism on the chin. You can find out more in this video by management guru Kim Scott.
Christmas every day: Twelfth Night has come and gone and yet the Arndale Centre in Eastbourne is still festooned with Christmas lights and decorations because the company that put them up has gone into administration.
Job opportunity: Spotify is advertising a role as President of Playlists and with essential experience that includes ‘having at least eight years experience running a highly-regarded nation’, they obviously have only one soon-to-be-unemployed candidate in mind.
Speaking of whom: Among the many things named in honour of Barack Obama was a brack, or fruit loaf, in Ireland for his visit in 2011. Other things include a parasite, a fish, a mountain and a petrol station.
Morris minor spat: A troop of morris dancers were forced to abandon a performance in Birmingham because passers-by complained that their blacked up faces were racist. Of course, it has nothing to do with race and everything to do with Plough Monday.
Here be dragons: The newly discovered Ruby Sea Dragon has been seen alive in the wild for the first time.
Shhhhh: Are you sick and tired of people listening in on your private telephone conversation? Then the Hushme (right) is the gadget for you. Plus it makes you look a complete idiot.
V-signs: It used to make me smile that whenever we saw someone having their photo taken when we were in Thailand, they invariably gave a two-handed peace sign. However, posting such selfies on the web could be a security risk. Researchers at Japan’s National Institute of Informatics have found that fingerprints can be copied from such photos without the need for any special technology.
Wine goes flat: When he heard people complaining that they had missed their wine delivery because they were out, a young entrepreneur set about inventing a flattened wine bottle that will fit through a letterbox.
Biro breakthrough: Despite making 80% of the world’s ballpoint pens, China has had to import the tiny ball bearing components from Switzerland – until now.
Word of the week: Paraskavedekatriaphobia – fear of Friday 13th.
Anniversary of the week: January 8th 1835 was the last time that the USA national debt was zero.
Snowflakes of the week: Theology students at Glasgow University are given a trigger warning that their studies will include graphic images of the crucifixion while at Strathclyde University forensic science students are told they will be shown ‘sensitive images, involving blood patterns, crime scenes and bodies etc.’
Brief lives: Where Do You Go To My Lovely singer Peter Starstedt (right); Ali Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani former president of Iran; Sir James Mancham first President of the Seychelles; legendary journalist Clare Hollingworth who reported the outbreak of World War Two; pianist and singer Buddy Greco; Michael Chamberlain the father in the Dingo Baby Case; political pollster Prof Anthony King; Victor Lownes who ran the British arm of Playboy; former Ryder Cup Captain John Jacobs; guitarist Tommy Allsup who didn’t get on the plane with Buddy Holly; society photographer Lord Snowdon.
And former England manager Graham Taylor. Below is his winning Defend the Indefensible from Radio Five’s Fighting Talk.