Sunday Round-up

 My round-up of news, events and stuff and nonsense from the last seven days –
if it’s news to me, it must be news to you!

In the dog house: The British company Hecate Verona is marketing a range of luxury ‘dog manors’ for the pampered pooches of the wealthy, including a grand colonial villa, a Roman imperial mansion and a Spanish Palacio, with prices ranging from £30,000 to £160,000.

Spying between the lines: Be careful if you are an aspiring leaker of secrets – you may be betrayed by your printer.

Electoral fallout: It was a good election for Lord Buckethead who is now the dominant force in silly politics after scoring twice as many votes as the Official Monster Raving Loony Party when he went up against Theresa May in her Maidenhead constituency. (See his local hustings) He has now agreed to lead the Brexit negotiations as exclusively revealed on the John Oliver Show.

It was also a good week for Minnie the Minx who won the Bash Street School president election with a giveaway manifesto that included games consoles, a duck for every child, a school trip to Disneyland and the return of dinosaurs while her main rival Smiffy only promised to ‘do stuff’.

But proving that consensus can be achieved across the political divide, on the right is a video of Ed Balls teaching Michael Gove how to dance Gangnam style.

Meanwhile, a politics professor had to literally eat his own words after promising to chomp his way through his book on Brexit if Labour won more than 38% of the vote.

Everyone’s a critic: Someone else who is sticking to a high-cellulose diet is comedian Jamie Loftus who has spent over a year munching her way through the male-chauvinist novel Infinite Jest.

Misunderstanding of the week: Actor Peter Sallis, who died last week, was impressed when the Queen told him that she loved the absurdist play Waiting for Godot. A courtier explained that she almost certainly meant the tv sitcom Waiting for God.

And in late breaking news:  A letter from Disney to a prospective artist from 1938 (left) demonstrates that women’s liberation had a long way to go, as posted on Twitter.

Jaws: A teacher became Britain’s first shark attack victim while surfing in Cornwall. The encounter with the three-foot long ‘predator’ left him with a bloody thumb and endless ribbing from his pupils.

Brief lives: Actor, model and girlfriends of Brian Jones and Mick Jagger, Anita Pallenberg; boxer Errol Christie; drag king Diane Torr; Teeside Troubadour Vin Garbutt; daughter of Louis Mountbatten, the Countess Mountbatten of Burma and the architect of a unified Germany Helmut Kohl.

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

3 comments… Add yours
  • Yorkshire Pudding 18th June 2017

    I am shocked to learn that Vin Garbutt is dead. I would have loved to hear him one more time and listened to his very witty banter between songs. So sorry that I missed him the last time he was in Sheffield.

    As for Buckethead I thought that was Theresa May or was she Mophead? How could those insensitive crowds in London chant “Coward! Coward!” as she waltzed by pretending to care for others?

    Reply
  • Steve 20th June 2017

    As much as I love my dog, those doghouses are clearly beyond absurd. Besides, dogs really want to be in OUR houses, not their own!

    I would vote for anyone who pledged to bring back the dinosaurs.

    Reply
  • Roger O Green 21st June 2017

    I saw John Oliver last week. Lord Buckethead is hysterical, in a good way.
    ROG, ABCW

    Reply

(will not be published)

Scroll Up

Spelling error report

The following text will be sent to our editors: