Introduction to the Preamble to the Disclaimer
After more than seven years of Shooting Parrots, it seemed more than high time that I crafted an official disclaimer and set out the blog’s policies. These will be available at any time simply by clicking the link in the nav bar, lovingly hand-built by me to give you the best possible clicking experience.
So here we go — the disclaimer.
Preamble to the Disclaimer
First of all (apart from the introduction above, which obviously had to come first), I would like to thank you for reading Shooting Parrots, and now for taking the time to read this disclaimer. Few people actually read disclaimers these days — you are to be congratulated on your diligence. (This isn’t the disclaimer itself, more of an introductory note and thank you message. The actual disclaimer will begin in just a moment.)
I suppose that the preceding sentence, while not technically the Shooting Parrots disclaimer, is something that limits the scope of that disclaimer and so could be considered a disclaimer to the disclaimer. To that extent, it was a disclaimer, although not the disclaimer.
The same is true for the last paragraph. As you can see, this introductory stuff could go on for ever if I let it. But I’m as fed up with this as you are, so let’s move on to the legally binding disclaimer itself. The next thing you read will be just that.
The Actual and Legally Binding Disclaimer
(not this heading, but the text below)
This website and blog is intended for entertainment purposes only and should not be relied on for accuracy. It is not impossible that you might learn something that you didn’t know before, but that would be pure coincidence and accuracy cannot be guaranteed, especially ‘facts’ you later rely on to settle arguments in the pub.
As far as said accuracy goes, (this is still part of the disclaimer, just a new paragraph of it) postings on Shooting Parrots often cite sources that I consider to be reputable, and that occasionally includes Wikipedia and even the Daily Mail. What this means is that I don’t usually make stories up — everything here is at least based, however loosely, on a true story or one that some journalist claims to be true. There are sometimes embellishments or additions for comedic purposes — it is assumed that you can tell the difference, and if not, may I recommend the Reader’s Digest Joke-0-Matic?
Having said that, I make no representations, warranties, or any other kinds of binding legal promises that any of the facts or theories presented here are in fact true or valid. In fact, many of the stories here involve facts or theories that couldn’t possibly be true or valid, and yet somebody somewhere thought they might be. Don’t make the same mistake they did.
Life moves on. The information I publish today might not be valid tomorrow. Indeed, be aware that I can be capricious and that my strongly held opinions and prejudices can be reversed overnight. Consistency is not my strong suit.
Also the views on this blog are mine and mine alone and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organisation, company or individual, especially those with the ability, desire and wherewithal to fight back. I will cave in immediately.
I will often quote the views of others, but do not claim to have quoted them accurately unless their words have been published elsewhere. I sometimes include the opinions of Mrs Parrot, but I am notorious for misreading and misinterpreting her mood, so don’t take those instances as an accurate reflection of her views.
Do not act on the suggestions expressed here without due consideration of your personal circumstances. For example, I have mentioned that it can be quite fun to jump out of an aeroplane. Don’t try this yourself unless you have considered the potential consequences such an experience might have on your health, sanity and insurance premiums.
Warning: This product may contain nuts. Probably not, but you can’t be too careful.
Continue reading this site’s policies.