The temperature is dropping. Our fine expanse of decking turned into a skating-rink tonight. I quite like it though. It’s the only time I can replicate Michael Jackson’s ‘Moonwalk.’ But being a nostalgia buff, I also did the in/out foot movements to take me round in a slow circle to honour Sunday Night at the London Palladium. Small things, &c;.

‘Tis the Season

Had my first Christmas dinner today. (Don’t you hate the word ‘Xmas?’) It was in the canteen (sorry, ‘staff restaurant’) consisting of veggie soup followed by turkey (a bit dried out) with an even more dried out lump of stuffing on top. I passed on the sprouts, roasters, carrot batons etc and went for a hillock of creamed spuds. Plus the European Gravy Lake to rehydrate the offering. Only two more helpings to go before I finish for the holiday. Whoopee do. Read more ›››

Dark Light

About a month or so ago a strangely shaped parcel dropped on the mat. It came from Powergen, I think. I may be doing them a disservice, but if not then a plague upon their house.

The first bit out of the box could be useful – a carbon monoxide detector. I’m quite up for that, assuming that we switch on ancient gas fires, which we don’t. Except at Christmas, so if you hear nothing from me after Boxing Day, fear the worst. Read more ›››

For Whom the M6 Tolls

The M6 toll-motorway opened today, surprisingly a month earlier than planned. I don’t often travel that way, but when I have, getting through that section has been a nightmare. My only worry is that you have to pull in at a toll booth to pay your two quid. So there you are, belting down the m-way at 70mph (honest, officer) only to come to a grinding halt to hand over your cash. Read more ›››

Scientific Endowment

Scientists have named a recently discovered fossil species of Colymbosathon ecplecticos. This little critter lived 425 million years ago and is an unusual find in that, as well as it shell, its ‘soft bits’ were also well preserved. But the bit I really like is it latin name which means “amazing swimmer with a large penis“. Now that’s a species to aspire to!

My stars, but didn’t the English public turn out in their hundreds of thousands to welcome back our rugby teams. Welcome back? They actually arrived home over a week ago and were mobbed at Heathrow, even though it was about four in the morning. Read more ›››

Pretentious? Moi?

I’ve always fancied myself as a bit of an artist. Trouble is, I can’t draw, I can’t paint and have no sense of perspective worth a damn. But now I can create my own original Picasso-eque masterpiece thanks to Mr Picasso Head. Give it a try.

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