Middle Lane Madness

With my preoccupation with sport last week, I didn’t get round to recording the publication of an RAC Foundation report that said we are ‘losing’ 700 miles of motorway because of poor lane discipline, ie those middle-lane morons who completely ignore the inside lane so that it becomes an empty, unused slip road hundreds of miles long.

To illustrate the midset of these people, there was one on the radio who cheerfully admitted that he was a middle-lane only driver for safety reasons!? Pray tell.

“Well others drivers use the inside lane to undertake, and they would crash into me otherwise.” A breathtaking failure to grasp the concept of cause and effect wouldn’t you say?

And if you’ve ever wondered what it is that makes them so oblivious, it’s because they’re singing this song:

I’m driving in the middle lane
Driving in the middle lane
Not too fast
Not too slow
That’s the way I like to go
I never use the inside lane
never use the inside lane
You can flash you can toot
I don’t give a hoot
I’m staying in the middle lane
You may see me as a pest
You don’t think I’ve passed my test
But I do what I do best
Brain in neutral, mind at rest
Sometimes drivers get too close
Sometimes they get belicose
Shake their fists, get quite verbose
Me, I just stay comatose
So if you should see ahead
That middle lane hog that you dread
Don’t you wish that moron dead
It could be me! So join instead
spoken;And we could have a convoy!
Imagine everybody driving in the middle lane!
No one on the inside lane,
No one on the outside lane
Everybody in the middle lane!……That’s my idea of heaven…..especially…..When I’m towing my caravan!!!!!!

Lyrics by Harvey Andrews

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

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