Life’s Little Irritants No. 4

I was in the coffee shop this morning waiting for my large latte and toasted teacake, picking up email on my Blackberry and generally minding my own business. I moved to one side to let someone get to the counter and thought “Shit! I’ve been standing on some chewing gum.”

Forget about smokers, the chewers and spitters of gum are the real threat to the civilised world. Or rather those that dispose of their gum with no thought for others. You only have to look at the discoloured blobs on the pavement to see how many people can’t be arsed to find a waste bin.

And the worst culprit? I have to whisper this — it’s Sir Alex. I watched the match against Lyons the other night and when the final whistle blew, he took the chud from his mouth and just threw it onto the pitch. Sacrilege.

So a month in jail please. (But in the close season.)

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

5 comments… Add yours
  • Greg 26th November 2004

    I once sat in some on the bus. Ruined my best trousers, that did.

  • Mosher 26th November 2004

    One upon a time I had long hair. The feckers behind me in French used to throw chuggy at me and it was a bugger to get out.

    One particular cnut actually slapped a whole sticky wad in my hair once. I lost it. Completely. This is an *exceedingly* rare occurence for me. I wrapped the hair round my finger and pulled, ripping a sizeable chunk out by the root.

    Then I forced it into his mouth.

    Funnily enough, that's one person who never bullied me again.

  • Shooting Parrots 27th November 2004

    Yes Greg, chewwy and buses — that's another rant in waiting. Incidentally, you might want to know that your blog has a problem with Firefox in that it goes really w-i-d-e. Code in need of tweaking methinks.

  • Shooting Parrots 27th November 2004

    Hi Mosh, I remember my sister getting gum stuck in her hair (her own fault) and having to have a chunk of her curly locks lopped off.

  • Anonymous 29th November 2004

    That wan't gum. It was Roy Carroll's contract


Your email will not be published on this site, but note that this and any other personal data you choose to share is stored here. Please see the Privacy Policy for more information.

Spelling error report

The following text will be sent to our editors: