School’s Out

I’m told that one in three children leaves school unable to read or write properly. How true this statistic is I can only guess as it came from a politician, so it could be verifiable or a complete fabrication. But if it is, here’s maybe why.

I went for a drink with my mate last night and as soon as we walked through the pub door we regretted it. The place was bedlam. It was the Christmas party for the teachers at the nearby infant and junior school.

  • One, they were all completely bladdered. Okay, so that’s what lots of people do at this time of year, and in the pub nearest work. But when the other people present are the parents or relatives of the kids you’re teaching?
  • Two, they were loud. I mean LOUD of ASBO proportions. And why shouldn’t they let their hair down? See above.
  • Three, their language was pretty hair-raising. I’m no prude but you don’t expect banter between the teachers of our children to involve quite so much effin’ and jeffin’. And in the best room too.

All of which might explain why a five-year-old Miss P, then a pupil at said school, once asked me very loudly in the aisles of Sainsbury’s, “Dad, is flucking hell swearing?”

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

2 comments… Add yours
  • Jennyta 22nd December 2004

    Well, this is where I should, I suppose, rise to the support of the teaching profession and I would certainly say that by no means all teachers are like that. That said, I long ago gave up going on staff nights out, because of scenes similar to that you describe and secondly, having been deputy head and being involved in job applications and student mentoring, the standards of students and newly qualified teachers often (not always) leave a lot to be desired – and I'm talking about attitude, values, language and general 'loudness'. One of the reasons I'm glad to be out of it!

  • Mosher 22nd December 2004

    I actually fancy going in to teaching. Maybe when I get more bored of my current job (and get a degree that I can then get a PGCE to go with). On the other hand I know enough swear words without a room full of pre-pubescents trying to teach me new ones.


Your email will not be published on this site, but note that this and any other personal data you choose to share is stored here. Please see the Privacy Policy for more information.

Spelling error report

The following text will be sent to our editors: