Lost in Translation

I have to confess to a sneaking admiration for suicide bombers, not for what they do, mind, but the way that they do it. Whatever their actions, you have to admit that they are prepared to put their own arse on the line for what they believe in.

Now I know what you’re going to say next, “They’ve been brainwashed into it,” and you’re probably right. But still, being willing to give up your life for a credo can’t be disregarded. No, honestly, where would the Christian faith be without its Martyrs? Okay, so they did the dying, while their ecclesiastical opponents generally did the killing, but I hope you see my point — being prepared to die for your beliefs is a powerful statement.

Which wasn’t made on Thursday it seems. According to today’s reports, the bombs went off simultaneously suggesting that they were timed to go off, rather than triggered by a suicide bomber. The arseholes didn’t even have the strength of faith to take themselves off this mortal plane along with their victims, the cowards.

And it also tells us they are faithless cowards. They are unbelievers. They don’t believe that such a death will take them to heaven to be rewarded by a flock of virgins. Absolutely right. What is actually waiting for them is a packet of raisins, thanks to a mistranslation.

So, if you’re reading this terrorist person, I might understand that you could have given up your life for what you believed in (and good riddance), or that sexual dalliance might have been your motive (sex with dried fruit not yet an offence, at least not in the Bible — the Koran might speak differently.)

But the truth is you are a gutless heathen without a belief worth dying for.

My prayer is that you finally get your reward in heaven, except that you are one of the 72 ‘virgins’ with a hairy-arsed ‘hero’ to give you a right good seeing to. For all eternity. Enjoy.

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

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