While I have every sympathy for the people of New Orleans and the never ending drama to extricate them from the floods, I do wonder how long it will become that quite literally that — when “Katrina” gets the Hollywood treatment as I’m sure it will. Perhaps a tv mega-series like 24, played out in ‘real time’ so we already have 240 hour long episodes to look forward to.
But it will be worth it because then we will discover “the truth.” That the good guys on the ground were brave and resourceful; their beautiful wives/partners/soon-to-be significant others were able to kept their lips glossed and hair groomed in the face of natural disaster; cute kids forever got themselves in life-threatening scrapes only to escape by the skin of their teeth; and scheming bad guy who got their comeuppance in the end.
Somewhere in the middle there will be a scientific debate on climate change. An expert, probably British, will bimble incoherently about global warming, only to have his arguments shot down by his smartass US counterpart (think Jeff Goldbloom) who will prove conclusively that Katrina was the result of Islamic terrorism, in league with the Darwinians.
We shall witness a resolute, intelligent, lantern-jawed Commander-in-Chief whose well-laid plans to bring succour to the stranded thousands are thwarted by some middle-ranking bureaucrat who blows his brains out in the penultimate reel when faced by the consequences of his (it will be a ‘he’) pettifogging actions.
In the final act, the sun will rise, glinting off the waters of New Orleans on a still and pleasant morning. Stubble chinned hero speaks in sure certainty that only free people can tame the forces of nature, a dewy-eyed girlie hanging on his arm. “Out of darkness and destruction, only democracy can bring light, hope and freedom.”
“Way to go Pop! Now we got us a lakeside condo!” Fade to credits, cut to ad break.
Scriptwriters out there please note — © Polly, 2005.
PS — For the real deal, see Katrina’s Impact.