I saw the other day that the media thought that Moses was an odd choice of name for Gwyneth Paltrow’s new son.
Personally I have no problem with it — a good old-fashioned, old testament biblical name that we see so rarely today, if you except David and Adam and others I haven’t thought of yet. (Yes, there are plenty of Sams today, but not yer actual Samuels.)
In fact, it was a close call that young Master P wasn’t christened Joshua, which he probably would have been if only I’d started my family history stuff sooner as that was the name of my earliest ancestor, circa 1730.
Biblical names are fine, perhaps Judas apart, although his rep is apparently repaired by the Dan Brownish revisionionists. Or Jeremiah, a monicker of similar negativity that almost dropped my way.
But the real reason I like the name Moses is that this was the subject of my favourite tongue-twister for the kids when they were young.
Actually, not so much twister so much as the elegance of the language:
Moses supposes his toesies are roses
But Moses supposes erroneously
For nobody’s toesies are posies of roses
As Moses supposes his toesies to be
But how cool will it be for the lad to be known in future as Mo Paltrow? And why do only ships get to be named Goliath?
Or there’s that old chestnut, ‘The Lord said to Moses, “Come forth” but he came fifth and lost the race.’ (Oh well, it seemed funny when I first heard it!)
When I was a kid we had a white Boxer named Moses. White Boxers are quite rare. Boxer dogs, not boxers as in boxing as in guys boxing in a ring.
There is of course a precedent in my own sect, The Stone-Age Methodists (we’re huge in the Calder Valley), to give our children the most archaic biblical names as a mark of piety. However, Moses Tudgay, doesn’t set a welcome precedent for this Upper-class MOR singers latest sprog offering I’m afraid. Moses or “Fingers” as he came to be known due to the extra digits he developed in a freak industrial experiment was a notorious Sootfield pickpocket. Let’s hope the Christ Martini & Gwynedd Paltroon baby doesn’t follow in his dirty stolen footwear.