You’ve Made Your Bed…

It’s a question that has nagged away at me for years and one I’ve avoided posting here in case it might expose me as some sort of deviant, but which side of the bed should the bloke sleep on?

I should stress that I do mean ‘sleep’ and by ‘side’ I’m assuming that I’m talking about a double with two people sharing. Three or more would complicate things, as would a same sex or just good friends relationship. So let’s be clear that what I’m on about is a male and female dual-occupation of the marital duvet.

The reason it has nagged is that whenever you see a couple in the marital bed on telly, the bloke is invariably on the left as you look at it from the foot of the bed — Victor Meldrew springs to mind — while I have always slept on the right.

Am I strange? Am I a deviant? And if I am, who can I sue?

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

10 comments… Add yours
  • Yorkshire Pudding 6th July 2006

    I sleep on the left because I am a real man. Only wimps and bi-sexuals sleep on the right. Sorry mate!
    Only kidding. I sleep on the left because that is where the bedroom door is and if we had an intruder I would feel duty bound to confront this person.
    I think you’re fretting about nothing but if you need support I provide counselling sessions at £45 per hour.

  • Jennyta 6th July 2006

    £45 an hour is extortionate, YP!
    Keith sleeps on the left. I sleep on the right, on the bare mattress because he has pinched my half of the bottom sheet and fighting for the top sheet and duvet because he has pinched those too!
    Oh, and he snores!

  • Bedders 6th July 2006

    I sleep on the left – furthest from the door for the exact opposite reasons from YP! I also like being near the window as where we lived last we had intruders through the window. Can’t win really.

  • Shooting Parrots 6th July 2006

    That’s reassuring. If Yorkies sleep on the left, I’m obviously getting something right. Quite literally, especially if the Welsh are at it too! (How to alienate half your readership in one fell swoop.)

    Seriously, the ‘nearest the door’ theory just might work. Our first house had the door to my left and the nearest which hasn’t worked in our two subsequent houses.

    The theory falls down because we slept the same sides even when unmarried and unhoused.

    Thanks for the offer of therapy, but there’s enough Yorkshire in my blood to invest in a 45p bag of potpourri instead!

  • Ginro 6th July 2006

    I sleep on my own.

  • Laura 7th July 2006

    I sleep on the left now, but with same partner slept on the right in the other house. Slept on the left with previous husband in first house but on the right in second one.

    Moral of this story:
    As long as you sleep, does it matter?

  • Mosher 7th July 2006

    I’d say the answer in my case is usually “the side that the woman doesn’t want”. This usually ends with me being on the right when I’m with a partner… though on the left when I’m single!

    The last two long-term abodes I had I slept on the left for room-structure reasons. Every girl I’ve been out with has opted to sleep on the left as well, so I’ve been relegated to the right when I’ve been partnered up. Go figure.

  • Blognor Regis 7th July 2006

    My wife feels the urge to sleep nearest the door irrespective of which side of the bed that may be. I don’t know why. I think this is wrong frankly as being a chap of advancing years it is I who often needs to get up during the night to make a little trip… And of course I always have to go the long way ’round.

  • themoy 8th July 2006

    I sleep on the left of my husband. I’m as anyone knows who reads my blog, I’m PERFECTLY normal!

  • Steve 9th July 2006

    So, that’s it then: White Roses sleep on the wrong side of the bed. I’m a right-sider myself Dearest requiring the side nearest the door in case of fire.

    I, presumably, will be left to gently roast.


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