Eau de Toilet

Of all the perils that lurk to make the Christmas shopper’s life a misery, which is the worst? Finding somewhere to park? The crowds? Noddy-bloody-Holder? The M+S food hall? Folk in Santa hats trying to flog you tat? The Rotary Club, their piss-poor sleigh and rattling buckets? Nope, it’s the perfume counter.

You remember that someone, somewhere needs, or is rather going to get, willing or not, a bottle of scent/after shave (delete as appropriate) and to show your own willingness to make the right choice, well you have to try it out by squirting the back of you hand with a tester bottle.

Fine in theory, but since your arms are probably loaded with unfeasibly heavy bags and the tester sprays are pretty powerful, the stuff usually goes astray and all over the place.

I was victim on Sunday. The idea was that some good smelly would be a good idea for Master P. We didn’t find any, but I ended up with one that smells like cat pee that has impragnated the left sleeve of my jacket and revisits me every time I put it on even three days later. Awful.

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

2 comments… Add yours
  • Yorkshire Pudding 8th December 2006

    This isn’t the first time you have ranted about perfumes. Have you got a particularly foul smelling family? Ever thought about showers instead of simply trying to disguise the smells? By the way, I understand that at most perfume counters they will supply little blotting paper strips so that you don’t have to get the stuff on your person. Beware cos gay guys sniffing you might get the wrong idea and whisk you off to Manchester’s gay village for a right good seeing to!

  • Laura 9th December 2006

    Actually, I thought you were going to rant about trying to find a ‘toilet,’ while out shopping! Heh…now that’s a rant.;)


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