Cheeky Baristas

I’ve mostly given up writing about advertising. It’s just too easy and no great sport — I prefer a quarry that likes the fun of the chase and doesn’t just sit there waiting to be shot at. But sometimes I can’t resist taking a potshot.

Like the latest for Costa Coffee which has to contain the most outrageous USP ever. It acknowledges that an infinite number of monkeys left to their own devices for an infinite amount of time with an infinite number of typewriters would eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare.

But give them an infinite number of espresso machines instead and they would never be able to produce a latte to match anything served up by the spotty, surly youths that they call baristas so they can double the price.

How bloody pretentious is that? Producing the finest works in the English language? Piece of piss. Producing a cup of frothy coffee? That might take a little longer.

I would never darken a Costa Coffee doorstep again if it wasn’t that I’ve never darkened their doorstep in the first place.

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

1 comment… Add yours
  • Yorkshire Pudding 24th October 2010

    Hang on, was a monkey writing this post? I quote “But them an infinite number of espresso machines…”. Surely you mean “Put them with an infinite number of espresso machines…” Tut tut tut sir! What would your old English master make of this? On your school report he’d probably write – “There’s no hope for little Shooty. I’m afraid it would be easier to train a monkey to be a barista!”


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