Osama Bin Blatter

I read the other day Sarah Palin has branded Julian Assange “an anti-American operative with blood on his hands” who should be hunted down and dealt with like Taliban or Al-Qaeda leaders for spilling the top secret beans.

If I were a US politician, I would be seeking vengeance closer to home. If these documents and communiques were a) so secret and; b) so sensitive, what were they doing  allowing someone free access to a quarter of a million of them?

And what were these secrets anyway? That Gordon Brown was a bit of a plonker, Silvio Berlusconi is a letch, Mexico is failing t0 halt the drug cartels, the Saudi’s are funding terrorism, Andy Windsor has a big gob and China is like the rest of the world and thinks North Korea is a complete basket case. We’d never have guessed, would we?

But as embarrassing as it is to have your private thoughts laid bare, the idea of sending the military to hunt down Assange is rather worrying, especially if he’s hiding in the UK. If nothing else, I’ve got my niece’s wedding at the weekend and we all know the record of the USAF, Taliban leaders and wedding parties.

There are others who should be nervous at this development. I’ve often thought that Sepp Blatter and FIFA have a lot in common with Osama Bib Laden and Al-Qaeda. They are both autocratic and fundamentalist. They both control secretive and highly organised terror cells placed around the world. And both seek the destruction of the power base of the west.

The most significant shared trait is that both command great power without having to lead a country. That makes traditional retaliation pretty pointless, as we’ve seen with Bin Laden. We’ve invaded Afghanistan and Iraq because of Al-Qaeda, although we’ve avoided Pakistan which where we’re sure that their leader is holed up.

So France, Italy and Germany should be checking that their insurance covers war damage given that Blatter is masterminding his own bid for world domination from somewhere in the Swiss alps. If America and the UK get the hump after losing out on the 2018 and 2022 World Cups, it can only be a matter of time before we extend Operation Enduring Freedom across the channel.

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

2 comments… Add yours
  • Yorkshire Pudding 7th December 2010

    I wish Palin would pale in to obscurity.
    The Assange situation is worrying. He’s even been denied bail though the judge or magistrate saw no evidence to support the claims of rape in Sweden. It ‘s all far too much of a co-incidence anyway. Besides. Australia were hoping to replace Simon Katich with Julian Assange in order to reduce wicket leaks.

  • Mr Parrot 8th December 2010

    I wish I’d thought of the ‘wicket leaks’ line — priceless!


Your email will not be published on this site, but note that this and any other personal data you choose to share is stored here. Please see the Privacy Policy for more information.

Spelling error report

The following text will be sent to our editors: