Alpha Course

I am occasionally pulled up on the spelling errors and typos that crop up in Shooting Parrots and that is how it should be. If it wasn’t for the metaphorical blue pencil, where would the language be?

And because I’m prone to a gaffe or two myself, I’m loath to point the grammatical finger, but I can’t help myself when they happen in the ‘real world’.

We spotted two glaring examples yesterday. The first was when my daughter was browsing in Top Shop and spotted a t-shirt that sported the legend:

“O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? – Shakespere.

Now I’m aware that the Brad of Nova was not too particular about how he spelt his name and signed it in many variants, including William Shakspere, but Shakespeare is the generally accepted spelling, except in mid-priced fashion chains it seems.

The second misspelling came while watching the Chelsea versus Man United game on tv. As usual, the cameras faced the rolling, electronic advertising boards at the side of the pitch promoting the home club’s merchandise and where to find it.

Now available at it read, but any fan attempting to visit the site to order their ‘John Terry is a Saint’ replica shirt would be disappointed because once again there was a letter A missing from the text.

Which has set me wondering if it would be possible to write an intelligible post without using the letter A. Anyone up for the challenge?

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

9 comments… Add yours
  • Reader Wil 6th February 2012

    I m certin tht you cn red this. Thnk you for your congrtultions on the birth of my grnddughter. Now I hve five grndchildren. Four in ustrli nd one in the Netherlnds. Good luck with the lph Course.

  • Shooting Parrots 6th February 2012

    Thanks Wil. Yes, I could read your message, even if it did look like text speak! It is difficulot to write Australia without the letter A though.

  • Roger Green 6th February 2012

    I’m of the opinion you’d write quite well without the offending letter.

  • Elizabeth 6th February 2012

    Well, this is the most interesting concept to contend with. Words do so much in their right orders of priority – I’m sure the prolific scriptwriter would concur to such knowledge. Letters in unity mete out liberty, truth, freedom, justice; most useful notions. Vividly coloured birds with short, down-curved, hooked bills giving direction must undoubtedly be unique, intelligent fellows, worthy of silver tipped gongs with blue ribbons. Shoot on in your skirmish with the cruel undoers of the English tongue, my fine friend. Let no stone of incorrect idiom be left unturned.

  • rhymeswithplague 6th February 2012

    She has done it! Three cheers for Elizabeth! Hip, hip, hoorah! Hip, hip, hoorah! Hip, hip, hoorah!

  • Yorkshire Pudding 6th February 2012

    Look at young Elizabeth go! Not an “a” in sight apart from an A* for effort! Did your daughter buy the stylish T-shirt from “Top Shop”? Oh, and for your information, John Terry isn’t a saint at all, he’s a shit!

  • Elizabeth 7th February 2012

    Prizes pour from both Pudding n’ Bob – I’m deeply honoured by their prestigious comments. Two finer, nicer fellows never tip-toed the universe. My worshipful respect rests upon them both. The esteemed distinction from the Sheffield professor will be held high in splendour for the whole world to see.

    We Yorkshire folk require no first vowel to settle our county territory. Unlike those who live in red-rosed confusion, our tenure is secure without the missing letter. Note Mr Pudding, espoused to Shirley, with protégés Suet first, Plum second. Not one unnecessary symbol between them.

    Now, with respect to this T-shirt; I would like to enquire whether they provide them in sizes to cover the most comely, copious of bosoms? If so, send me three forthwith, by pigeon post, of course, splitting the invoice between the two old, but distinguished, gentlemen who proffered me such deliciously effusive greetings. Second thoughts, you’d better just send the whole to Bob; Yorkshire men sew their money to their posing pouches – retrieving it can be uplifting work but time-consuming.

  • Elizabeth 7th February 2012

    I blotted my copy book with one red-rosed, vowel sliding onto the screen. Rescind the order…my distinction is stripped…I’ve lost my merit… Professor Pudding’s pencil is poised – ‘More effort required. Write one hundred times, “I must try to control my obvious deficiencies” ‘.

  • john gray 7th February 2012

    as someone who spells as well as a block of cheese I think I will keep my big gop shut on this subject!!!!!!!!!!
    ( now where’s my spell check?)


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