Curtains for Smokers

CurtainsFurther to my little rantlet the other day about the bonkers legislation banning large stores from displaying cigarettes and tobacco so that we smokers might forget they exist, not everyone has entered into the spirit of it.

Most stores have fitted special cupboards with sliding doors to secrete the filthy weed, but others have gone a more DIY solution.

Mrs P was in H&M the other day and there were no fitted cupboards there. They have kept their old shelves and simply hung a black curtain in front of it from a piece of elastic.

When anyone asks for twenty Benson’s or a packet of Rizlas, the poor assistant disappears behind the curtain, but you can see her outline moving about, like an incompetent magician, as she fumbles around in the dark for the requisite product.

People are now going there specially to buys their ciggies, even those who don’t smoke, just for the entertainment value. Either that or the perfect shoplifting opportunity.

And while this pantomime is being played out, some joker comes on the radio to tell us that every bank holiday costs the country £2.3 billion which seems a bit steep for a few DIY and gardening materials.

But why have they suddenly come to this conclusion? Bank holidays have been with us for a very long time and while Easter may be a moveable feast, we know that it will fall some time around April every year.

Perhaps they just see a chance to get their names in the news because as we know, economic forecasters only exist to make astrology look accurate.

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

6 comments… Add yours
  • rhymeswithplague 10th April 2012

    Your pithy final comment about economic forecasters made me suddenly think of something my old dad used to say (I don’t think he was referring to economic forecasters, though) : “When you’re up, you’re up, and when you’re down, you’re down, and when you’re only halfway up, you’re neither up nor down.”
    Probably umbrellas, or maybe he had observed in me the phenomenon of adolescent tumescence.

  • Reader Wil 10th April 2012

    Hilarious! It won’t be long before comedians will use this in their acts.

  • Anti-Smoking Pudding 10th April 2012

    H&M? I thought that was a clothing store – so what are they doing selling smoking gear? Regarding the money “lost” each bank holiday – I heard that story too and thought it rather stupid. Was the idiot making that remark suggesting that people shouldn’t have holidays? I wonder how much money is lost to the economy on Christmas Day when families are off work or school together. There’s more to life than the cogs of the economy. We can talk about thee matters more on Thursday by the pool.

  • Anti-Smoking Pudding 10th April 2012

    thee = these

  • Mr Parrot 10th April 2012

    Mr Plague: Your old dad obviously knew the Grand Old Duke of York!

    YP: I got it wrong again – that should have been B&M and rather further downmarket than H&M.

  • Mr Parrot 10th April 2012

    YP: I omitted to comment on the bank holiday story. The economists seem to think that it would be better is they spread out more during the year. So we could have Boxing Day in November and New Year’s Day in February I suppose.


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