Tales from the Vault

ApplesWe’re fortunate to have several apple trees in our garden, fortunate because they were here when we moved in ten years ago and already mature.

One in particular produces hundreds of sweet, delicious apples like those on the left which I photographed last year. The problem is that the tree is quite high making the fruit difficult to harvest.

Mrs P came up with a Heath Robinson contraption to help with this, basically a long aluminium pole that used to be part of a window cleaning kit with a kiddy’s fishing net lashed to the end to catch the apples.

And it worked, sort of, although it wasn’t easy to use and we still lost quite a bit of fruit as they missed the net and then got damaged in the fall. This year she decided on some ‘professional’ help.

Wolf Garten Fruit PickerThat’s it on the right. A Wolf Garten RGM Adjustable Fruit Picker which is not dissimilar to Mrs P’s homemade version except that it has those hooks to dislodge the apples into the catching bag and the pole is adjustable and can reach quite a height.

Now there is a point to this domestic gardening story. The picker was ordered on the web and as you can imagine, it arrived in a very long oblong box.

The courier who delivered it glanced at me and then at the box with a look that told me he was intrigued to know what on earth was in such an odd shaped parcel.

‘It’s the Olympics,’ I said ‘you know the BBC website they’ve set up to encourage people to get involved in sport.’

He looked at me nonplussed.

Pole Vaulter‘It’s a pole,’ I explained. ‘The wife fancies having a go at the pole vault so she sent off for one. She’s been dying to try it out all week and I’ve rigged up some washing line between two canes.’

By now he was looking a little nervous and his hand shook a bit as he handed me the electronic gizmo to sign for the parcel.

‘Don’t worry,’ I said ‘it’s quite low, only about six foot high. She should get the hang of it in no time.’

And then he left, no doubt on his phone to the office warning them not to deliver any javelins, archery sets, BMX bikes or fencing equipment to our address.

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

4 comments… Add yours
  • Roger Green 16th August 2012

    there’s a tool for everything!

  • rhymeswithplague 16th August 2012

    Please consider for a moment the old saying, “When the apple is ripe, it will fall from the tree.” It is my opinion that a lot of what is wrong with the world in general and with human beings in particular is that we want what we want when we want it. We insist on having the apple, literal or metaphorical, before it is ripe.

  • Mr Parrot 16th August 2012

    Thank you for your wisdom Mr Plague. Sadly, the old saying goes on ‘will fall from the tree and smash on the floor before being eaten by insects’.

    Wasps in particular like apples that have begun to ferment so that they get drunk on their meal!

  • Counsellor Pudding 16th August 2012

    When Mrs P said she wanted to try the pole vault, I think she meant Pole with a capital P – as in Polish handymen and grunting shot putters called Igor! Regarding the apples, did you think of using stilts?


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