It’s all part of the black art of search engine optimisation to get yourself really noticed by Google and Bing, which sounds like a dance act from the 1930s.
I don’t pay it much heed as a rule which probably explains why Shooting Parrots is considerably less popular than say the Fine Woodworking blog.
Anyway, I thought it was time to make an effort and publish something that everyone is looking for right now. The obvious answer is nude photos of the royal family, especially if I can get in there before The Sun hits the news stands.
So here we are, above is that rascal Prince Harry in typical birthday suit pose, the scamp, but after a hard day’s carousing in the pool, what better way to relax for the third in succession to the crown.
And above right is a very rare and previously unpublished paparazzi shot of the future King George VI taken with a long-lens during a wild milk and rusk party on the notorious ‘love island’ of Anglesey.
But the most shocking of all is the photo on the left a young Elizabeth Bowes-Lyons, the future Queen Mother, brazenly posing completely naked beneath those clothes.
That should do the trick. Now all I have to do is sit back and wait for the visitors to come flocking to Shooting Parrots. And work out the rules to strip billiards while I do so.