I had thought there couldn’t be much of a connection between those that the saints choose to succour, but after writing about Gorton Monastery I’m beginning to see that there might be some sort of a logical link.
For example, Saint Anthony of Padua who is the patron of postal services and lost items which go together like bacon and eggs.
Or Saint Bernadine who can be called upon by both advertising executives and compulsive gamblers which are pretty much the same thing if you believe John Wanamaker when he said ‘Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don’t know which half.’
Then there is Saint Bonaventure, patron of scholars and those with bowel disorders and, of course, academics tend to be up their own backsides.
And Saint Clare of Assisi, patron of television and eye complaints. Square eyes presumably.
It started me wondering what seemingly unconnected but aptly paired groups might be in need of a patron saint and here are my suggestions:
- Politicians and yarn spinners and mythomaniacs
- PC World assistants and acne cream manufacturers
- Bankers and pig trough scourers
- Tabloid journalists and sewage farm workers
- Indian call centres and haemorrhoid sufferers
- The Inland Revenue and leech breeders
- Microsoft and crash investigators
- The Conservative Party and silver spoon makers
- Liberal Democrats and people who paint the lines in the middle of the road
- New Labour and champagne bottlers
I’m sure you can think of your own, but I can’t end this post without mentioning Saint Owmuch, patron of Yorkshire and people with short arms and deep pockets.