Prince Whatsisname

HelloOne of my favourite sayings of the moment goes like this: For every action there is an equal and opposite, plus a complete media overreaction. Which just about sums up the birth of Prince ?????? of Wales.

The Daily Mail managed to rush out its souvenir royal birth edition, devoting twenty pages to the new mouth to feed which must be a record because they didn’t name him once because he hasn’t got one yet.

I thought the odds of 250/1 on it being Prince Wayne were a bit miserly, although probably no more so than 500/1 on Rumpelstitskin. (It’s true)

But it did set me thinking about possible sobriquets that all the best royals in history. Like Lionheart, Virgin Queen, Black Prince and The Bruce (I never did get that one).

It would have to be something appropriate to the times, as well being traditional, so what with the Empire having gone west and Scotland looking to secede from the Union, how about John Lackland?

Or if he takes after his dad and granddad in the tonsorial department, perhaps Idwal the Bald would be more in keeping since he was Welsh to boot.

Other I quite like for their silliness are Ivaylo the Cabbage, John the Careless, Otto the Crazy, Robert Short Stockings and Ragnar Hairy Breeches, but these possibilities are probably ruled out because they were foreign royals and there is no way that Daily Mail would put up with royals who weren’t born in England.

Well apart from the Saxe-Coburgs, William the Bastard, Henry II, Edward II, Henry V, Charles I, William III…..

Anyway, here’s Wikipedia’s list of royal nicknames to choose from.

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

6 comments… Add yours
  • Regal Pudding 23rd July 2013

    You sir, you are making light of the royal birth! My blood is boiling! Are you…are you a communist, a Ukranian, a member of Al-Qaeda or…worst of all a Manchester United follower? One thing’s for sure they’ll not be naming the new babe Prince Ian the NHS Leftie!

  • Trevor Rowley 23rd July 2013

    Ebenezer Scrooge maybe, Mr P? Or might you want to claim that for yourself? Poor kid’s barely drawn more than three breaths and he’s already getting it in the neck.

    Bah! Humbug!

    • Regal Pudding 23rd July 2013

      How about Prince Trevor the Tight Arse. Has a nice “ring” to it don’t you think? Boom boom!

      • Trevor Rowley 28th July 2013

        Sure, we all have our crosses to bear so we do.

  • rhymeswithplague 23rd July 2013

    My money is on Elimelech Tiglath-Pileser von Kreutenhausen Ray Jay Johnson.

    You can call him Elimelech or you can call him Tiglath-Pileser von Kreutenhausen or you can call him Ray or you can call him Jay or you can call him Ray Jay but you doesn’t have to call him Johnson.

  • rhymeswithplague 24th July 2013

    If you are confused by my comment, see my latest post and all will be made clear.


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