If it’s news to me, it must be news to you!
More money than sense: Prada has produced a solid silver paperclip marketed as a money clip but at £145 each you will have fewer notes to keep safe.
More sense than money: While the silver paperclip might be an attractive proposition for some, more attractive is Canada’s glow-in-the-dark coin and at just $2 it is a much cheaper option.
Anniversaries of the week: It is fifty years since the first ATM in the world was opened by Reg Varney in Enfield. Below is a fascinating BBC Five Live interview with its inventor, James Goodfellow, who earned all of $15 for his efforts.
It was also the 80th anniversary of the launch of the 999 emergency telephone service, the first of its kind in the world. It took over 1,000 in the first week including one from a caller complaining that someone was playing the bagpipes outside their house. This tradition of stupid calls continues to this day and you’ll find some of them here. And if you are wondering why 999 was chosen instead of say 111, here’s the explanation.
What’s in a name: An Asian shopkeeper in Newcastle was threatened with legal action when he called his corner shop ‘Singhsbury’s’ so he has changed it to ‘Morrisinghs’.
Tanks a bunch: A rehearsal for a military parade in Minsk, Belarus, went badly wrong when a tank skidded out of control in the rain and took out a lamppost.
Caesar breather: We know that every time we drink a glass of water we’re also drinking dinosaur pee, but now it seems that every breath we take contains at least one molecule of Caesar’s dying breath. Having said that, we are closer to celebrity than that as a geneticist explains that we all related to royalty if you go back far enough.
No place like gnome: A Cornish artist is selling Jeremy Corbyn garden gnomes on Etsy for just £24.99 each and they’re selling fast. Other gnome caricatures include Theresa May, Nigel Farage, Donald Trump and even Adolf Hitler.
Ducking the issue: Researchers at Soongsil University in Seoul have concluded that the world would be a little less stressful if car horns were replaced by duck noises.
Socks appeal: People who wear bright, wacky socks to work are considered to be popular, more competent and successful.
Quote of the week: On the subject of sartorial elegance, news that MPs will no longer have to wear a tie in parliament reminded me of this quote:
A gentleman without a tie is neither properly dressed nor is he a gentleman.
Fake news of the week: It emerged this week that the framed Time magazine cover that Donald Trump displays at his hotels and golf clubs is a fake – there was no issue dated 1st March 2009. Time has demanded that he removes them.
Scary stuff: On a more serious note, the National Rifle Association of America warns in a video that the domestic enemies of the right will be met with the ‘clenched fist of truth’. And lots of guns presumably.
That sinking feeling: A granddad spent five years and thousands of pounds renovating a yacht only for it to sink within minutes of being launched.
The last word: The Oxford English Dictionary used to end with zythum (a kind of malt beer brewed in Egypt) but joins other dictionaries and now concludes with Zyzzyva, a genus of tropical weevils native to South America.
Brief lives: Bato Tomašević, survivor of the Munich air crash; Hein Verbruggen, president of the Union Cycliste Internationale during the Lance Armstrong affair; David Lewiston collector of ‘world music’; Joel Joffe who helped Nelson Mandela avoid the death penalty.
Actor Michael Nyqvist who starred in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo; lawyer Rex Makin who invented the term ‘Beatlemania’; early feminist Roxcy Bolton who changed the hurricane naming system; dreaded KGB spymaster Yuri Drozdov; film critic Barry Norman (who can forget that title music by Billy Taylor?) and; Michael Bond (above) creator of Paddington Bear.