If it’s news to me, it must be news to you!‘
Bin it: Kleenex has dumped their Mansize tissues after an ‘increase of complaints on gender concern‘. They will now be known as Extra Large which doesn’t really cut it for me. How about Pinnochio Size Tissues? Or would that be cartoonist?
She stoops to conker: But to prove that there is equality of the sexes, Karen Holloway of Derby was declared the overall champion at the World Conker Championships.
Fahrenheit 11/9: Michael Moore has twice asked Tom Hanks to stand for president against The Donald in 2020 because who doesn’t love Tom Hanks?
Be Best: Randy Rainbow takes a shot at Melania Trump’s anti-bullying campaign slogan in his latest video.
My cup runneth over: Would you pay £80 for a cup? Ember would like to sell you one of their high-tech mugs that will keep your tea or coffee at whatever temperature you set it using their phone app.
To a T: Apparently, Harry Potter fans have been mispronouncing Voldemort’s name all these years.
Better late than never: The Sagrada Familia in Barcelona has finally been given planning permission just 130 years too late.
Brief lives: Football commentator Peter Brackley; former MP Denzil Davies; Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen and; Walter Mischel, the psychologist who devised the ‘marshmallow test‘ of delayed gratification.