Filed: Christmas

Blingin’

Yes it’s that time of year and the houseblingers are draining the National Grid again. I’ve never quite understood it myself, all that money on flashing Santas and red noses, not to mention the running costs, and they’re sat inside the house where they can’t see them. Read more ›››

Sack Race

The first weekend of December and the sack race is on, the one to fill as many Santa sacks as you can before teetering into bankruptcy.

Me and Mrs P headed for Stockport early doors, or 11am as it is on a Sunday. It would normally be Mrs P and her personal shopper, Miss P, but as the latter is having a whale of in Sheffield, I had to play Trinny to Mrs P’s Susannah. Or should that be the other way round. Read more ›››

And the Sidebar was Bare

Six days into 2006 and it’s my first post of the new year. That must be the longest time I’ve been quiet. I bet you thought someone had thrown the blanket over Polly’s cage. In fact, I have been really busy at work finishing quite late and pretty shattered by the time I get home.

But I had to make some time today to take the decorations down, ie the virtual Christmas tree that has been sitting on the right-hand column over the festive period. Strictly speaking, I should have done this yesterday, on Twelfth Night to be exact, although this lot seem to think you’ve got all day today as well. Read more ›››

And the Sportsmanship was Where?

As mentioned previously, one of my prezzies was the Ashes DVDs and I’ve watched all but the last one so far. It’s a superstition thing I suppose, thinking that it might work out differently. A bit like that awful stage performance of the Anne Franks Diaries when the Germans stormed in demanding to know where she was and the audience shouted back, “She’s in the attic!” Read more ›››

A Nose to be Picked at

Seems odd not having a LOTR film to see at the cinema at Christmas. I guess I should count myself lucky that I have two kids at the right age for whom the three installments came at the right time, though, in truth, I would have gone anyway.

Trying to recapture the moment with a 17-year-old atheist and one of 14 who now has his hair dyed black isn’t easy, but we had a bash at Narnia. It was pretty good, four out of five if I’m being generous, and got an even better mark from young Master P. Read more ›››

Spoilt for Choice

Well, it’s 3pm on Christmas Day and it’s been a good one so far. My new ‘toys’ now include:

The Ashes DVDs The Rough Guide to Conspiracy Theories Read more ›››

Pull Polly’s Cracker

In readiness for the awful jokes that will spill out of your Christmas crackers tomorrow, here’s one to get you in the mood: Why do demons and ghouls get on so well together? Because….

Dopes

There was a cracking news item on Radio Five tonight, although I haven’t found any way of verifying it yet. Apparently the police (I didn’t catch where) suspected the occupants of a house of drug-dealing.

Instead of using one of those mini-battering rams to splinter the door frame, they dressed up in winter togs and rolled up outside pretending to be carol singers, complete with sniffer dog. They simply stood there giving them all five verses of “We Three Kings” until the door opened when they whipped out their warrant cards and stab-proof vests and raided the place. Read more ›››