Filed: Work

I’m the Invisible Man

Thus sang David Byrne in the Rose Tattoo from one of my favourite albums, Rei Momo and I found out how he felt over the last couple of days. As mentioned previously, I was at a 24 hour work conference and had invested in some casual smart clothes instead of the usual suit and tie. The effect was amazing — people I’ve known for years kept walking past me, not recognising me ‘out of uniform’.

The event was generally a success although not without its glitches. I won’t bore you with them all and just give the edited highlights. I had a fairly late night, staying up till 1am having a drink and shooting the breeze. I was deep in the land of nod when the fire alarm went of just after 6am and I found myself hastily dressed stumbling round the car park in the rain. It’s a fine way of learning about your colleagues’ night attir Read more ›››

Blowpipe

Yes I know it’s an odd title, but that was the first image that entered my head when the phone rang today. This woman introduced herself and then said, “I’m a headhunter.” Visions of little loin-clothed blokes in Borneo skulking round the bushes ready to gob a poisoned dart in my direction.

I haven’t been headhunted in ever such a long time. Someone actively seeking me out to apply for a job. I’m not kidding myself that I’m the only one she spoke to, but it’s flattering nonetheless. Read more ›››

The Moving Finger Having Writ

Don’t ask why, but I had reason at work to try to find a stenographer today and the top result of this Google search was about a day in the life of one working at the BBC. It transpires that every programme the Beeb puts out is transcribed by a team of stenographers. I had an FFS moment. (Abr: first word ‘for’ last word ‘sake’. Complete.) I mean, there’s a… Read more

Come Fly With Me 2

Well, aren’t I becoming a bit of a high-flyer? Today was my second flight to London in less than a week, although the outward journey was more like life in the bus-lane.

Everything seemed to be going swimmingly at first. I got to the airport in good time, checked in and then over to Costa’s for a coffee. I got to the desk at 6.45 just as they were announcing boarding and was in my seat and buckled in just before. “Great,” I thought, “Looks like we’re more or less on time. Wrong. Read more ›››

Who on earth can get lost on a train?

Well me actually. As mentioned on Tuesday, I was packed off on a plane to London yesterday, rising at 5am to arrive at MIA early as requested (complete with passport — not looked at) only to be delayed by an hour because of fog down in the Metrollops, though why the 6.30 flight left pretty much on time I can’t say.

Anyway, I arrived at the London City Airport a little after 9am and jumped on the special bus to take me to Canning Town tube station wondering why I was the only passenger. As I stood on the platform waiting for my train I got my answer. The tannoy blared, “We’re pleased to announce that the Docklands Light Railway extension to the City Airport is now open.” Read more ›››

Lovely Little Mover

They have a Zumex orange squeezing machine in the coffee shop near work and I confess that I could sit and watch it all day. The way it halves and squeezes out the juice before disposing of the skins, pith and pips is poetry in motion.

It’s Been a Strange Old Day

To start with, the roads to work were really quiet. Yes, I know it’s ‘holiday time,’ but the city centre was very empty, as was the station. Eerie. Despite all of the ‘chin-up’ and ‘they shall not prevail’ Churchillian pap, it seems the country decided to stay at home today. Just in case.

I have to say, it didn’t cross my mind. Showered, shaved and dressed, I was on my way. And if I had thought about it, today must have been the very safest you could have moved on public trasport. More bobbies than you could shake a stick at without getting shot, CS gas in the face or tasered. Read more ›››

Atrocity

I was driving home tonight at about 6.30 and drove round the M60, the signs simply read: “Avoid London Today.” I know they were trying to be helpful, but assuming I had managed to avoid tv, radio, the internet, email and any form of human contacts and knew nothing of today’s events, what was I meant to make of “Avoid London Today?” Read more ›››